“Enjoy every minute!” they say.
“Don’t you wish they would stay little forever?” they ask.
The people that say these things to parents have clearly never tried (or forgotten what it’s like) to plan for feeding a family, particularly one with babies or toddlers.
Feeding a family is time-consuming and stressful. There are many demands on the meal planner. It needs to be healthy, it needs to be affordable, and, most importantly, it needs to be delicious.
Before beginning to plan meals, decide what you like and are good at. Be realistic in these decisions. Do you enjoy planning meals? Are you interested in finding new recipes or sharing recipes with friends? Do you like grocery shopping? Do you need fast and easy meals? How much time do you have to cook each night? Are you on a budget?
Not enjoying this does not make you a failure or a bad parent. Setting yourself up for success relies on being honest and realistic. Perhaps your partner enjoys some of these tasks. In our house we cook together many nights. I always do the planning, the shopping, and a majority of the prep and cooking, and my husband always does the dishes. Dividing and conquering is key to success in many homes. What tasks can the children help with? Including children in meal preparations and the cooking process makes them more invested. Since the pandemic started, I began ordering groceries through Instacart instead of grocery shopping myself. I don’t feel guilty about not having enough time to get all the tasks done. I can “grocery shop” from anywhere, and my husband or babysitter can pick up the groceries. One person does not need to do this alone, and in fact trying to do it alone will likely lead to failure.
In our house the rules are clear:
- I am not a short order cook.
- You must eat what is served for dinner.
- You have to try some of everything.
There are a few choices if you are still hungry after dinner—fruit, cheese sticks, or yogurt. My children know this and so their expectations are set accordingly.
Have a formula:
Meatless Monday
Taco Tuesday
Waffle Wednesday, etc…
Or perhaps serve the same thing each week. My husband’s grandmother did just that:
Sunday—macaroni and sauce
Monday—soup or stew
Tuesday—pork chops (which nobody liked, I’m told)
Wednesday—macaroni and sauce
Thursday—meatloaf
Friday—leftovers
Saturday—roast chicken
There were no questions—everyone knew what was for dinner each night. It also must have made her grocery shopping very easy each week. My husband’s aunt tells me that this rarely changed. She still remembers the few nights that her Italian mother would make something different, like turning leftover chicken into a chicken chow mein of sorts, that she recalls was unexpected and one of her favorite meals.
Don't be afraid to fail—not every dinner will be perfect.
If it works in your budget and expectations, plan for takeout or a pre-made meal one night a week. In our house Trader Joe’s frozen orange chicken and veggie fried rice is a favorite that can be on the table in less than fifteen minutes. We might add some sliced raw veggies or roasted broccoli on the side for a more balanced meal.
Another option is meal prep services. While I haven’t personally used any of these, I have many friends that swear by them. Services like Hello Fresh, Blue Apron and RadDish Kids send ingredients to your home that you then prepare.
Locally, companies like Project Lean Nation and Sweet Pea Plant-Based Kitchen offer healthy prepared foods that you reheat at home.
Don’t be afraid to fail—not every dinner will be perfect. Some don’t come out as planned, some get burned; some are just gross. It happens to everyone, even professional chefs. Another thing that I think is important is telling your family to be honest. My husband and kids know that it’s ok to say they don’t like something that I made. I would prefer they tell me the truth, as opposed to saying, “thanks Mom, dinner was great!”. If I think everyone liked it, I will make it again. If I know that it wasn’t a hit, I can take it off our list, or tweak something to make better the next time. This also means that the whole family really thinks about what they are eating, and what they like (or dislike) about something, whether it’s a texture, a specific spice, or the actual food that didn’t work for them.
Find a formula that works for your family—then don’t be afraid to deviate from it. Demands on time change, tastes change, children grow up. Be flexible, and continue to evaluate what is working and what is not.